The THING that is GETTING people in AA/NA Stoned again

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“What is your WHY?”

Doing some reading on marketing, I kept coming back to this phrase.

As much as I dread marketing speak like this, I’ve realized that this concept might help center me.

My ADHD brain needs routine and grounding; clarity on why I would prefer to live with intentionality.

If I get hit by a car tomorrow, will I have made the most of my gifts?

Which suffering have I endured, and walked through, which I can help someone else with? What healing can I be a part of?

Sitting in a 12 step meeting 2 years ago it started to become clear to me.

It was a men’s meeting of roughly 12-14 guys. The majority of them had achieved long term sobriety from alcohol (a decade or more). The topic though, was sex addiction and porn. In 16 years of meetings, I had never heard this topic come up.

Nearly EVERY gentleman there, was struggling with pornography or compulsive sex, and it became clear from their shares that there was a tremendous amount of shame attached to this.

They seemed to feel so relieved to SAY THIS OUT LOUD, and know that they were not alone.

I couldn’t help but think how much this behavior and attached shame might be impacting their experience of “sobriety.”

I was reminded of this in the AA Big Book text on pg 133:

We are sure God wants us to be happy, joyous, and free. We cannot subscribe to the belief that this life is a vale of tears, though it once was just that for many of us. But it is clear that we made our own misery. God didn’t do it. Avoid then, the deliberate manufacture of misery, but if trouble comes, cheerfully capitalize it as an opportunity to demonstrate His omnipotence.

Wow! That is what I want to do!

1) Make it clear that sex addicts and their partners are playing a roll in manufacturing their own misery.

2) Trouble has come: 9-15 million Americans are stuck in shame cycle of sex addiction.

3) It is time to cheerfully capitalize on this opportunity to demonstrate His omnipotence.

Here is the story of how I came to KNOW what needs to be done!

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